It's been a year today that my Love has been gone and it still feels like the first day.
Time does not heal all wounds, especially the one I have in my heart from losing my Love.
When I think of my lil lady, I think of the days when I would visit her and hug her tight and kiss her. I think of her own special scent. The scent of my Love, my Momo. Every time she kissed me it was never a regular peck; it was never like a quick hello kiss-on-the-cheek peck. It was always a passionate kiss, like an I-love-you-so-much-kiss.
I sometimes think about back when I was selling Avon and I would let her put in free orders all the time. She use to order all kinds of slippers, different colors of nail polish, and lots of earrings... she loved her earrings and she always loved for me to polish her nails. Sometimes she ordered so much and the total would end up being so expensive, I would have to tell her that some of the items were out of stock even though they weren't, but I had to! It was so much money! Haha! Sorry Love ;)
She also loved the color purple, it was her favorite. Maybe that is why my favorite color ended up being purple. I remember the days of going to her house after work to pick up David when she use to take care of him; once you'd walk inside, you could smell her delicious food cooking. She always had fresh tortillas and she'd always offer me a plate of food.
I remember when I took her to a 50's musical once and she loved it. All the dancing and music she loved it so much, she said it reminded her when she was young. We had such a good time out. When I use to go to college, she would pick me up everyday and sometimes we went to the mall and we would go shopping at JC Penney's. My Love and I always had so much fun together.
I sometimes think about back when I was selling Avon and I would let her put in free orders all the time. She use to order all kinds of slippers, different colors of nail polish, and lots of earrings... she loved her earrings and she always loved for me to polish her nails. Sometimes she ordered so much and the total would end up being so expensive, I would have to tell her that some of the items were out of stock even though they weren't, but I had to! It was so much money! Haha! Sorry Love ;)
She also loved the color purple, it was her favorite. Maybe that is why my favorite color ended up being purple. I remember the days of going to her house after work to pick up David when she use to take care of him; once you'd walk inside, you could smell her delicious food cooking. She always had fresh tortillas and she'd always offer me a plate of food.
I remember when I took her to a 50's musical once and she loved it. All the dancing and music she loved it so much, she said it reminded her when she was young. We had such a good time out. When I use to go to college, she would pick me up everyday and sometimes we went to the mall and we would go shopping at JC Penney's. My Love and I always had so much fun together.
We were so alike in so many ways too. We both liked bold colors, we had the same sense of humour and the same attitude. Back when she was bit younger and more healthy and I was in my 'drinking/partying' phase, she was so much fun to hang out with and drink with too :) She was a young and cool grandma, I was lucky!
My Love also loved talking about me to everyone. She always 'bragged' about her 'Shirleys'. Even if there was nothing to brag about, she always found something to say. There was nothing bad that I ever did in her eyes and no one better talk negative of me either cause she'd let you have it. She always had my back and was my true ride or die. Just like I always made sure I was hers.
My Love also loved talking about me to everyone. She always 'bragged' about her 'Shirleys'. Even if there was nothing to brag about, she always found something to say. There was nothing bad that I ever did in her eyes and no one better talk negative of me either cause she'd let you have it. She always had my back and was my true ride or die. Just like I always made sure I was hers.
I miss my Love so much. And maybe I thought it would be easy after she passed because I live so far away and couldn't see her much anyway. But it isn't easier at all. I could call her if I wanted, and my mom could put us on video, and when I did go back home it would be all worth it to be able to see her and kiss her again after being away for so long. But I can't even do that anymore.
I see all these oldies walking around everywhere I go in this country at the age of 80-90 years old and I can't help but get sad and mad, and think to myself why couldn't I have my Love for at least another 15 more years like that. It's never often but out of the dozens of oldies I see daily, there is always that one that reminds me so much of her.
I know my Love is happy in heaven. I know she is looking down on us all. I told my mom this morning that she is in a better place now. Before she left us she was in a lot of pain for a few years. She was struggling, she couldn't walk, she didn't feel good for a long time. She is free from all that now. I truly and wholeheartedly feel that she is so happy and she watches over us. She is at rest now and her spirit is at peace. I need to remember that for myself too. It's hard not to be selfish, to not miss her and to not cry for her. She wouldn't want us to have that pain over her, especially when she is at peace up above.
It's been a year today that my Love has been gone and it still feels like the first day.
