Showing posts with label I Miss You. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I Miss You. Show all posts
Posted by
Sille Bliss
It's been a year today that my Love has been gone and it still feels like the first day.
Time does not heal all wounds, especially the one I have in my heart from losing my Love.
When I think of my lil lady, I think of the days when I would visit her and hug her tight and kiss her. I think of her own special scent. The scent of my Love, my Momo. Every time she kissed me it was never a regular peck; it was never like a quick hello kiss-on-the-cheek peck. It was always a passionate kiss, like an I-love-you-so-much-kiss.
I sometimes think about back when I was selling Avon and I would let her put in free orders all the time. She use to order all kinds of slippers, different colors of nail polish, and lots of earrings... she loved her earrings and she always loved for me to polish her nails. Sometimes she ordered so much and the total would end up being so expensive, I would have to tell her that some of the items were out of stock even though they weren't, but I had to! It was so much money! Haha! Sorry Love ;)
She also loved the color purple, it was her favorite. Maybe that is why my favorite color ended up being purple. I remember the days of going to her house after work to pick up David when she use to take care of him; once you'd walk inside, you could smell her delicious food cooking. She always had fresh tortillas and she'd always offer me a plate of food.
I remember when I took her to a 50's musical once and she loved it. All the dancing and music she loved it so much, she said it reminded her when she was young. We had such a good time out. When I use to go to college, she would pick me up everyday and sometimes we went to the mall and we would go shopping at JC Penney's. My Love and I always had so much fun together.
I sometimes think about back when I was selling Avon and I would let her put in free orders all the time. She use to order all kinds of slippers, different colors of nail polish, and lots of earrings... she loved her earrings and she always loved for me to polish her nails. Sometimes she ordered so much and the total would end up being so expensive, I would have to tell her that some of the items were out of stock even though they weren't, but I had to! It was so much money! Haha! Sorry Love ;)
She also loved the color purple, it was her favorite. Maybe that is why my favorite color ended up being purple. I remember the days of going to her house after work to pick up David when she use to take care of him; once you'd walk inside, you could smell her delicious food cooking. She always had fresh tortillas and she'd always offer me a plate of food.
I remember when I took her to a 50's musical once and she loved it. All the dancing and music she loved it so much, she said it reminded her when she was young. We had such a good time out. When I use to go to college, she would pick me up everyday and sometimes we went to the mall and we would go shopping at JC Penney's. My Love and I always had so much fun together.
We were so alike in so many ways too. We both liked bold colors, we had the same sense of humour and the same attitude. Back when she was bit younger and more healthy and I was in my 'drinking/partying' phase, she was so much fun to hang out with and drink with too :) She was a young and cool grandma, I was lucky!
My Love also loved talking about me to everyone. She always 'bragged' about her 'Shirleys'. Even if there was nothing to brag about, she always found something to say. There was nothing bad that I ever did in her eyes and no one better talk negative of me either cause she'd let you have it. She always had my back and was my true ride or die. Just like I always made sure I was hers.
My Love also loved talking about me to everyone. She always 'bragged' about her 'Shirleys'. Even if there was nothing to brag about, she always found something to say. There was nothing bad that I ever did in her eyes and no one better talk negative of me either cause she'd let you have it. She always had my back and was my true ride or die. Just like I always made sure I was hers.
I miss my Love so much. And maybe I thought it would be easy after she passed because I live so far away and couldn't see her much anyway. But it isn't easier at all. I could call her if I wanted, and my mom could put us on video, and when I did go back home it would be all worth it to be able to see her and kiss her again after being away for so long. But I can't even do that anymore.
I see all these oldies walking around everywhere I go in this country at the age of 80-90 years old and I can't help but get sad and mad, and think to myself why couldn't I have my Love for at least another 15 more years like that. It's never often but out of the dozens of oldies I see daily, there is always that one that reminds me so much of her.
I know my Love is happy in heaven. I know she is looking down on us all. I told my mom this morning that she is in a better place now. Before she left us she was in a lot of pain for a few years. She was struggling, she couldn't walk, she didn't feel good for a long time. She is free from all that now. I truly and wholeheartedly feel that she is so happy and she watches over us. She is at rest now and her spirit is at peace. I need to remember that for myself too. It's hard not to be selfish, to not miss her and to not cry for her. She wouldn't want us to have that pain over her, especially when she is at peace up above.
It's been a year today that my Love has been gone and it still feels like the first day.
Posted by
Sille Bliss
My little lady was put in her final place of rest today. I wasn't there in person but I was definitely there in my thoughts. I can't wait to go and visit her when I'm in Houston. I'm happy she is now settled in her new home...
I miss you Love. ღ
I miss you Love. ღ
Posted by
Sille Bliss
Ever since I was a little girl, my grandma would say to me, "Mija when I die, I'm going to let you have my wedding rings." It's not so bad hearing that when the person telling you is healthy enough to know they got a long way to go; and even then you really don't hear the death part of it and just think about how beautiful the rings are. But then when the time comes near, it really isn't something you wanna accept or even hear. You stop thinking about how beautiful the rings are and more about the death part becoming a reality.
Up to her last stay in the hospital when I called to speak with her and while with her the day before her passing, she was still wanting to make sure I was going to "get her rings." I don't think it set in even then because my first feeling was to laugh and think she was so silly for even bringing it up.
The day my Popo came to my mom's house, I thought it was only to tell Steve and I goodbye cause we were leaving back to England the next day, but he also had my Love's wedding rings.
Before she passed I knew my grandpa would give them to me eventually, maybe when we came back to visit again. I don't know, it wasn't something I was really thinking about, even with my grandma constantly talking about it.
But there they were, safe in a little box with my name written on it; and I felt so sad. The day was here when I no longer had my Love and all that I had left were her wedding rings she always talked about me having. And all I could think was that I wanted my Love back.
I know I have so many amazing memories with my Love; so many fun times. I am lucky we even got to live with them on and off throughout my childhood and teenage years, and to have always lived less than 5 minutes away from her, even as close as just across the street for the past 15 years till now was pretty awesome too; but I still can't help wishing if I could of only had her a little longer. Once she left, all those years suddenly felt like they flew right by, in the blink of an eye.
I haven't got the rings fitted so I can wear them yet. Just looking at them in the box gets me upset. I feel like once I start wearing them I will cry even more throughout the days then I do already. I don't know.
What I do know is that I miss my Love and it really sucks that I'll never be able to see her, hug her and kiss her again for the rest of my life.
Posted by
Sille Bliss
Elida R. Balandran, 74, was born on February 5, 1941 in Houston, Texas and went to be home with her "Lord and Savior" on May 21, 2015 in Houston Texas. Preceded in death by her beloved Parents, Arturo and Emilia Ramirez. Elida is survived by her Husband of 56 years, Domingo V. Balandran; her 2 Sons and 2 Daughters, 8 Grandchildren, 9 Great Grandchildren, and many relatives and friends.
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I'm happy to have had so many memories with my Love. I know she will be watching over me, and she might even haunt me from time to time. I hope so... she said she would.
There was this one story she told me, I use to make her tell it to me once in a while. She said when she was young, her and her sister Lela were at a store. I think it was like a Woolworth or something. They saw a bag in the middle of the store, I think maybe in one of the aisles; just there by itself. They were at a distance where they could see it and wanted to run and grab it but were scared they'd get caught stealing if they took it, but no one was around. So they were deciding who should take it, her or her sister. Finally they just ran to it, got it and ran off to the store's bathroom. When they opened it to see what was inside, it was all their own stuff. The bag they took was their own bag. She said they busted out laughing so hard. They couldn't believe they were so scared, only for it to be their own bag they stole. Silly girls. That story was so funny to me... I loved hearing all her little stories.
I'm going to miss that little lady of mine; but I know now that she is comfortable and happy with her mommy and daddy, chillin' on a cloud in heaven, watching over us all, patiently waiting for us to join them.
21.05.2015 - 18:37
